Ode to Patrick J. Carroll

Dear Carroll Clan,

Hello from New Orleans! Sitting down to write this I am filled with many different emotions and thoughts. Sad over the loss of our family Patriarch, happy that he is no longer suffering, guilty for not being able to come show my respects and proud of being able to know and be related to a man who was so genuine and caring. Unfortunately I am not able to attend any of the services because I am stuck in New Orleans, but here is my Ode to Patrick J. Carroll.

Where to start? Yes, he was a hardworking businessman, a loving husband, caring father-grandfather-brother-uncle-brother-in-law-friend-neighbor, stubborn New York Irishman, handyman, role model, scout leader, family patriarch, overall tough cookie.

But as I think more deeply about his passing, I feel like it hits an even more universal cord, because I have come to realize that he was part of a dying breed. He was part of a generation of men who had their priorities straight, who put family first, who helped people simply because it was the right thing to do, not because they were looking for any compensation or reward, who had a sense of duty and loyalty to their country, family and friends, who put others first, who were genuinely interested in other people’s lives and who always rose to the occasion whenever needed.

Uncle Patty, Pat, Dad, Grandpa, whatever you may have referred to him as, was a man who everyone should strive to be. He set a standard that is hard to live up to, but I think he also left us with a bigger present than anyone could ever ask for. Along the way he inadvertently passed along all of the values that he lived by to everyone that he came in contact with.

Being raised in this family I have grown up thinking it was the norm to always put family first and have family members who were genuinely caring and loving. Our annual Christmas Eve parties are one of the highlights of my year. Instead of dreading having to spend an entire night with my family, I look forward to it and am excited to learn what everyone has been up to all year, what exciting and happy or sad news people have to share. Whenever anyone has an event going on: a concert, sports game, ballet recital, birthday party, graduation party, communion, (I could go on for days,) everyone always makes a big effort to attend. When someone is sick there is a family member there to help them, visit them in the hospital, or simply show they care by sending a “Get Well Soon” card.

And always, come hell or high water, at every family gathering, sitting somewhere a little off to the side, with that wide-all-knowing grin, watching over the whole group was Uncle Patty. Content to sit and watch the goings-on of the big clan that he had watched grow and flourish, but still eager to find out about everyone’s lives. For example, the last time I saw him, it was this past summer and he was in hospital. His face brightened up when I walked in the room, before saying hello to anyone else, he immediately asked me how my travels were. I was so surprised and taken aback that he had remembered that I had been in Italy earlier that summer because everyone had told me that his memory going. In true Uncle Patty fashion though, (miraculously,) he remembered and was enthusiastically waiting for me to tell him all about it. Even when he was obviously hurting, he was still in genuinely interested in my life and so happy for me. His body may have been deteriorating, but his mind and heart were still just the same.

Until the past couple of years, I had always accepted this as the norm and expected that everyone was like this, because I never knew any different. Being so far away from home (and family) for College, I have been exposed to all different types of people and I have been faced with an unfortunate reality. Not everyone is like us. People like Uncle Patty are one of a kind and not everyone was raised with the values I was raised with. Sadly, the bond we have in this family and the values we have all been brought up on are not something that everyone gets to experience.

Coming off this, I’d like to leave you with some food for thought. Instead of being overcome by sadness over the passing of good ole’ Uncle Patty, I think everyone should look around and cherish each other. We should all be grateful that we were blessed with such a great role model to show us the way, because you better believe that the way our family has grown (and continues to grow) can be stemmed back to this great man, Patrick J. Carroll. He lived by example and he set a great one for the rest of us to follow. He will be missed immensely, but I think his legacy lives on in all of us. It is a big undertaking to continue this legacy, but hopefully we are all up for the challenge. I know I am.

Rest in Peace Uncle Patty, you will be missed, but never forgotten.

                                                                                    Lots of Love and Best Regards,

                                                                                                            Kristen