Once upon a time, in the winter of 1982, Tom Himmelberg, a goofy, yet intelligent, curly haired guy from the Bronx was invited on a ski trip by his friend Chris Hanlon. Chris happened to be dating Maryellen Carroll, who decided to invite her best friend and cousin Suzanne Carroll, a sharp, clever, funny woman from Queens.
Tom and Suzanne had met briefly once before when Suzanne had gone with some friends to see him in a production of “Inherit the Wind” during high school, but this time, when they saw each other, things were different. Suzanne was one of the drivers for the trip and (as luck would have it,) was asked to pick up Tom at his house in Ardsley on the way up to the Hiltop house, where they would all be staying.
They were now juniors in college and though Suzanne went up to the Ski Trip dating Bernie Kilkelly, she left with thoughts of Tom. And on the last day Tom even got up enough courage to awkwardly ask for her phone number.
After that Suzanne and Tom talked all the time. They would call each other and clog up their home phone lines for hours. They began dating in 1983 and to everyone around them it seemed like true love.
On October 25, 1986 they got married in the chapel on Fordham University’s campus, Tom’s alma mater, where Tom’s father was a professor of history. It was a lovely crisp autumn day in New York, perfect for a wedding. Both families were very happy about the marriage. As with most 80’s weddings, the bridesmaid dresses were hideous, a bright shade of iridescent teal with huge puffy sleeves.
The next five years the couple enjoyed life. Tom got a high-up job at Solomon Brothers, a big time Wall Street investment bank. Suzanne, after passing her licensing test, began her career as an architect. They moved into their first apartment together in Astoria. It was small, but they loved the neighborhood with all of its culture, diversity, good Greek food, and they had friends that still lived nearby.
Then Tom was transferred to work in London for six months. Suzanne stayed home, but she visited him a few times. They travelled all over Europe together and one of their fondest moments was going skiing on top of the Alps in France.
When Tom got back from London, a lot of their friends had already gotten married, or were on their way to getting married, so they acquired many couple-friends that they partied with almost every weekend.
Unfortunately during this time they suffered through two miscarriages. But, finally on July 9, 1991, they were blessed with the birth of their first and only child, me, Kristen Alexandra Carroll Himmelberg.
After I was born we moved into a new apartment a few blocks away from their old one, with an extra bedroom and they fell into parenthood. My dad had recently started Law School though and was under a lot of stress. He developed severe back problems and had to undergo two back surgeries before I was 3.
Despite these difficulties, those first four years were filled with happiness. I happened to be the first baby of my generation to be born on both sides of the family, so I was spoiled silly by everyone. Both families were fascinated by me because there hadn’t been a baby in the family for a long time.
Our new little family, my dad, my mom and I would take trips together to East Hampton where my mom’s family had a summer home and Cape Cod where my dad’s family had a summer home. Or sometimes just down the street to Astoria Park which was right at the waters edge underneath the bridge leading to Manhattan. They would pull me in my red wagon and then we would have picnics in the park and after we were done I would beg to be pushed on the swings for a while.
In 1995, things began spiraling downhill. Everything was starting to pile up for my dad. Juggling work, law school, a new family and health issues wore on him physically and emotionally. To cope, he started staying out late and drinking heavily.
Whenever he finally came home and my mom was awake, their discussions would escalate to fights, which would escalate to full out screaming matches. A few times I woke up from these fights and though I was a little frightened, I was more curious than anything and would observe them from a crack in my bedroom door.
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